


What Memories Will Come

by lissaann



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-30
Updated: 2008-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 16:00:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lissaann/pseuds/lissaann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam remembers Madison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Memories Will Come

**Author's Note:**

> **Spoilers:** minor spoiler for 1x19 - "Provenance" and plot spoiler for 2x17 - "Heart"  
>  **Prompt:**  
>  "And if and when I make it through  
> Or if my brain is stuck on glue  
> And when the world tries to forget all that I said  
> You know I'll still remember you" - "Jet Boy, Jet Girl" by The Damned  
> \+ Any "dead" character plus any "live" character  
>  **Kink:** Reliving past encounters while masturbating (the angstier the better)  
>  **Disclaimer:** Sam, Dean and Madison are all made up, right? Then so is this story. CW and Kripke owns all, as well as the key to my heart.  
>  **A/N:** I **_LOVE_** the Sam/Madison pairing and all the beautiful angst that comes with it. I still cry at the end of the episode, and I must have watched it at least 50 times now.  
>  **Beta:** The wonderful, fantastic [](http://vivaesprit.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://vivaesprit.livejournal.com/)**vivaesprit** who was quick to edit and gave some good insight as to where I was short. Also, she tamed my tenses beast, which is a bitch. Thank you once again!!  <3

Another city, another hunt, another motel. For Sam Winchester, nothing ever changes, and yet everything has changed.

They were two days out and half a country away from their last hunt; a hunt that would follow Sam forever. He killed a woman on that hunt, a living, breathing, _beautiful_ woman. It's not as if he's never killed a woman before, but this was a woman he could have seen himself falling in love with.

He never expected this. He never got as emotionally involved with anyone as he did Madison. Not since Sarah. And his words to Sarah about being cursed and that everyone he loves dies resonated in his head as he stared out the passenger’s side window while Dean drove.

“Sam?”

He stayed silent.

“Sam, c’mon. Snap out of it.”

Sam’s head turned towards Dean quickly. “What?”

“You can’t keep beating yourself up over Madison. It needed to happen.”

“You know what, Dean? You come back and say that after you’ve had to kill Cassie.”

Dean winced with Sam’s words. Sam intended them to hurt, lashing out at the only person around. “That was a low blow, Sam.”

“Needed to get down to your level,” Sam said bitterly. He went back to just staring out the window.

=====

Dean found a small, mostly empty motel in the middle of nowhere, Iowa. There were reports of a poltergeist, which had recently turned deadly against the owners of the house, killing a grandmother who lived with her son’s family.

It was late in the afternoon, sky just beginning to turn pink and red with the setting sun, when they arrived. They unloaded their gear, Dean taking the bed by the door and rushing his way into the shower before Sam could gobble up the hot water.

Sam sighed and sat down on the bed, his back up against the headboard. He tiredly opened his laptop and began to see what he could find out about the house and the families that lived there.

Dean emerged from the bathroom, rivulets of water still sliding down his body with a towel hung around his waist. Normally, this would provoke a reaction from Sam, but he was wrapped up in whatever it was on the screen he was reading. "Hey, I think I'm gonna hit a bar. We're kinda low on cash, and I'm itching for a good game or two. You want to come along?"

Sam shook his head. "Not tonight."

"You can't just stay locked up in whatever room we're in all the time."

Sam glared at Dean. "Look, just get off my case a while. Besides, why do you want me hanging around while you're trying to score?"

Dean smirked. "True, true." He checked the salt lines around the windows and the door. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Sam said absent-mindedly. "Just go."

"Fine, suit yourself. Don't wait up," Dean smirked as he walked out the door.

=====

Sam tried to concentrate on the information he had found from the town's small newspaper regarding the house's history. But he found his mind always going back to Madison.

Madison hadn't just been beautiful. Madison was the first woman Sam had made love to since Jessica. Their lovemaking had been animalistic and rough, biting and sucking and desperate at first because they needed it. They spent the rest of the afternoon exploring and mapping each other's bodies slowly, hoping to stop time. Sam wanted to learn everything he possibly could about Madison, wanted to know her as deeply as he could. She was this incredible woman who he only knew a few hours before he and Dean packed and moved to the next town but she was unforgettable. This woman had forgiven Sam for what he needed to do, tying her to a chair, before she realized what was happening. This woman he knew he would save no matter what, even though it would turn out that it was the worst possible kind of saving, worse than Sam had ever imagined saving a person could be.

He set his laptop on the floor, resigning himself to the thought that he wasn’t going to get anymore work done tonight.

He lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, one arm straight at his side and the other resting gently on his stomach. His thumb skimmed the skin on his stomach as his mind continued to be focused on Madison and how unfair it was, that he only had that night with her, that he wouldn’t be able to be a bigger part of her life. Unfair that she was attacked and became something she didn’t even know about, taking lives without being aware of what had happened, and the guilt that caused her once she knew. He couldn’t get it out of his head that even as he killed her, a part of her was totally innocent, and didn’t deserve to die. How unfair that with all of the other evil in this world, she had to be touched by it, and how unfair it was that he couldn’t save her. Just like he couldn’t save his dad.

Without much thought, he could feel her next to him, feel her hair against his skin and her scent filling his nostrils. He could feel her nipping at his neck and ear, breathing heavily. He was alone, and he was hard, but somehow she was with him.

His hand reached down to cup himself under the soft cloth of his boxers. But it was her hand, stroking him, nails scratching gently up the underside of his shaft and just under the ridge sending the most pleasurable shock up through his body. He pictured her over him, breasts sliding down his body as she moved, soft and warm. He remembered how she took him, rode him, deep and hard, her hips slamming down on him, his fingers flicking at her clit as she moaned breathily. He felt her tighten around him, ecstasy pouring over her as she rode the wave of his orgasm.

Sam felt himself splashing over his hand, and an ache stronger than he had ever felt since Jess filled his chest as he suddenly became aware that he was back in the hotel room he and Dean were sharing, coming back to the reality where Madison was dead. He cleaned himself up somewhat and felt the tears on his face when he thought of what had been and what he would be missing with her no longer in his life even though they hadn’t had long together. But their short time together was enough to touch Sam’s heart.

Tears continued to streak down his face as he lay there, hoping for sleep. As he drifted towards unconsciousness, Madison was still on his mind.

_And if and when I make it through…_

“Maddie,” he whispered.

_Or if my brain is stuck on glue…_

“Maddie.”

_And when the world tries to forget all that I said…_

“Maddie.”

_You know I’ll still remember you._

“Madison,” he whispered one last time, and then was sucked down into a restless, uneasy sleep.


End file.
